Coverin' It

Tom Cruise covers the Powerless Power Issue for Details magazine. I can’t believe I used to love this clown. Given that this was Thanksgiving in the United States, I find it funny that Tom Cruise stepped up his “game.” Tom Cruise has a lot to be thankful for. Family, health, wealth, a (once) successful career. Yes there have been set backs, we all get those. It’s how you manage through the hard times that show your true character. Tom Cruise has no f*cking character! Parading around Central Park with the Beckhams? I don’t understand why any of them did it. No wonder they all (except Tom) look so miserable. Paris Hilton does sh*t like this. Lindsay Lohan does sh*t like this. Jennifer Lopez used to do sh*t like this. But we don’t care about her anymore. Hint, hint Tom. When the fuck did Tom Cruise become so accessible to the paparazzi. Why is he parading Suri, like she’s a toddler Paris Hilton? What’s she going to do when some other celebrity kid usurps her throne as “Hottest Celebrity Baby”? The fucking therapy bills this kids going to have. Oh wait, she’s a Scientologist. Scrap that, they don’t believe in therapy. But Scientologist don’t “audit” for free do they? I think in a final act of desperation, Tom Cruise needs to take a page out of Billy Ray Cyrus’ playbook. When your career goes to hell, sign your kid over to Disney, and get co-starring and producing credit. Forget Britney. How the hell is this one going to end? Tom Cruise doesn’t strike me as the type to fade quietly into the night….