When Celebrities Have No Friends

Jessica Simpson isn't fat. She's what you might call "thick" but since she's a celebrity, she's probably just normal sized. Here is the issue though. If I tried to walk out the house with a leopard print belt accentuating my waistline, high waisted jeans on my fat ass, and my Oprah arms on display, my friends would throw bricks at me. My friends wouldn't let me walk down the street in this outfit, let alone perform on stage. Her stylist had better be a blind volunteer, 'cause if Jessica is paying this bitch, than she's dumber than I thought.

It doesn't get any better close up, does it? And I actually bought her relationship with that football player. Food is not love Jessica.