THE BRITISH ARE COMING

This is Cheryl Cole.

I know, I can't tell you what she sings either. But she's HUGE in England, and Simon Cowell thinks she'll be the next big thing in America. Given that that Brits made Jordan a celebrity, it's obvious they have much lower standards than the rest of us. But what I want to know is, what in God's name is Cheryl wearing?  B*tch better hire a stylist before she comes over here.